“Some days it’s easy to spiral back down into depression. I usually make my way down a few steps before I catch myself, or someone reminds me of how far I’ve come. It’s easy to walk down, harder to climb back up again.
…something about rock bottom is appealing in a way. You stand at the top, but every now and then you look back down. That abyss you called home. It was almost comforting. It wants you to come back…like a magnetic pull. And some people will spend a lifetime fighting it.” — FB status via Nicole Landry.
As soon as I saw this on Facebook, I couldn’t help but gravitate towards it. I immediately found it relative to my life. Not exactly saying I really suffered from depression….but then again, considering all I’ve been through and how much some of it still tends to bother me once in a while, maybe I did (or still do) sort of suffer from depression and I just haven’t come to accept it. …as happy and content as I am with my life, I somehow (still) find myself drifting off, thinking about all the bad stuff I’ve been through and eventually making myself miserable in the process.
Then, while reading Nicole’s status that’s when I realized how much I really do depend on staying busy and everyone around me to in a way keep my mind in a constant “happy” place. I realize that’s why I’m always at work, or at the Curb, or with Yelpies, or with my FAMILY….because I have to always be surrounded by people who love me and truly make me happy. Or else, my mind will just immediately go to a dark place where I break down and cry, eat or drink (alcohol) my feelings away, etc.
Which leads me to the real reason why I wrote this post… To thank each and every individual in my life at this moment who have truly made it that much better!!!! :D
ALEISHEA: my soul sister. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for being the one constant in my life (besides my family). I don’t know what I would do I without you.
KAT: my wing woman. I love you too. Thank you for your beautiful soul. Thank you for being so awesome and outgoing, for it has forced me to be the same way.
NICOLE L: You and I have endured quite a lot throughout our friendship. Most of which was my fault, for letting someone else dictate my thoughts and overall decisions. But, I’m glad we’re over that speed bump. :P Thank you for your advice, your knowledge, your sense of humor. Thank you for not holding grudges. Thank you for being you. :)
CURBIES (Sumner, Mats, Juli, Patrick, Jeri, Brian, James, etc.): Thank you for putting up with me and my coffee habit. Thank you for your love and friendship, and letting me be a part of your little crew (without actually being part of it lol).
JASMINE: Thank you for being a great roommate and someone I can always count on.
LIAM: You have become truly my best friend. Thank you for being the one person (besides Aleishea) that I know will have my back forever. Thank you for — the laughs. the smiles. the hugs. Thank you for talking to me. Listening to me. And, Putting up with the crap I put you through (sometimes). I love you & like Aleishea, I don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t met you either.
TRAVIS: my brother. like, almost literally. I love you, I just love you. And whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me forever bro! Lol. Thank you for everything.
And most importantly,
my FAMILY : I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. YOU ARE ALL ONE IN MILLION (figuratively & literally :P).
& to my MOM & MICKEY: We fight and bicker like crazy. I’ve said and done some horrible things to you two over the years (and vice versa). But I know you love me. And regardless of what I’ve said in the past, please know that it was really just in the heat of the moment & I really didn’t mean any of it. I would truly go INSANE if I didn’t have the two of you. <3